I keep thinking about what could have been. I know you're holding her hands. I know I'm on the backgrounds. I know I'm supposed to like her but my eyes were fixated on your wide shoulders.
I remember the smaller boy I chased so many years ago. The boy with the Uchiha crest. It was obvious for me to go to whatever extend possible to reach you. I'd hunt for you, I'd kill for you. And if we can't come to an agreement and you decided to hurt important things in my life, I would sacrifice for you. You who was now looking at her. Your eyes were hidden behind long bangs you started to grow after the war, I can see what kind of expression you could have felt. I don't know what you are thinking.
All I could do right now was to bitterly take in your presence, comforting myself how no one can feel you the way I do. And how no one can feel me like you do.
I swallowed, my mouth went dry before I knew it. During the celebration, when everybody were busy chatting up to each other and while you and her greet everyone, I left.
I have to run away, I though to myself. Your images filled my heart 'till the brink it started to flood my whole being.
The cocky little brat, the unrecognizable friend, the cruel killer, the guy I long for, my rival, my best friend.
Gaara once asked me to define what friendship was and to what extend should I allow myself to indulge you.
It was during the time the kages decided to execute you, Sasuke. I honestly have no idea, but the moment I though about you dying it hurts so much I can't physically take it. Maybe it was around that time I realize I'm willing to sacrifice for you, I'm willing to die for you as long as I can stop you from hurting our village.
Why do you care about me so much? You used to ask me, over and over.
Because I'm your friend I answered, I was confident. And you looked so surprise, your dark eyes turned grey, you seemed hurt. All those times, you always looked so sad Sasuke. Even when you were blabbering about killing me off, even when you were hitting me with your deadliest blows, I wonder if you knew, you looked really desperate Sasuke.
I fastened my steps, jumping through the roofs. Street noises are killing me, wind gusts stabbed me like million needles. I'm in pain Sasuke.
It leaves me wonder think, how much it would've hurt you to take that blow for me, at the bridge.
Mind your own business! I screamed.
Hell if I know, you said. My body just moved on it's own. You said.
Until now, I can't fully figure what you meant.
Does that mean I'm your dearest?
Seldom, I would catch you looking at Sakura with such soft gazes. I imagine that's what love would look like, for you.
You never looked at me that way. You always frown, you always look angry. Sasuke, does that mean, for you she's...
Before he knew it Naruto had stopped at the ruined Valley. The people had left it as is to comemorate their pride. The statues were completely blown off. Hashirama and Madara's sealing hand lay cold on the grown, incidentally forming the seal of reconciliation. Naruto stood on top of it. He stared blankly at the valley that'd started flowing again.
He knelt down to touch the soil, recalling how cold it was that day. If he could choose the person beside him in his agony it would have no doubt been Sasuke. And that day Sasuke was there. They were only 17, kids trying to punch the shits out of each other. Wounded blood everywhere. He forgot everything, Sakura, Kakashi, the world. It's only between Sasuke and him. Naruto never forget his friends, he'd wanted to protect them, to save everyone. But for his best friend, he was more than willing to die.
Naruto slowly lied down where he presumed he once did, looked over his side at the place Sasuke was.
He laughed at himself. Of course, Sasuke couldn't have been there anymore, he was probably hand in hand with Sakura right now.
Naruto wondered how the weeding went and how much time had passed. Was it done or not.
The sky had been tainted completely dark. When he left it was still sunny. He tried to stop himself from imagining Sasuke and Sakura going back to the Uchiha household. What they would...
Naruto screamed. He screamed so loud his throat went completely sore. His breathing started to accelerate, his whole body heated up.
S... Shit! Naruto grunted. Trying to control himself.
Finally, he curled up and tears started to stream down his cheeks. Eyes wide open, Naruto imagined Sasuke, bruised, tired, left eye forced shut, staring at him.
He was with Sasuke first, he spent the night with Sasuke first.
Naruto smiled faintly, clenched his right hand. In that poodle of blood, with their broken arms, he never told Sasuke how he vividly felt Sasuke's hand in his. He caressed it and squeezed it against his own.
What does he want from Sasuke? Naruto bit his lips, Sasuke was his friend, Sasuke was...
He never imagined his attraction towards Sasuke was anywhere near the kind Sakura does, nor does he ever felt like marrying him. But, right now, his heart is telling him otherwise.
Without thinking, he imagine Sasuke was there, leaned in, but a hand behind his dark hair and lay a kiss on his swollen lips.
Just as he'd expected goosebumps ran down his spine, his stomach boiled up, much like his first kiss on the second row, third desk.
when we are kids, we wait with anticipation to grow into a teenager. when we are teenagers we wait to go out into the world and work as adults. when we are working as adults, we look back and wish we were kids again. then when we get older we wait to stop working and become a pensioner and one day when we are in the hospital looking back at our past, we will say "i have been waiting for everything, waiting in anticipation, but along the way, i forgot to live..."
i like you i might even love you but im not sure. youre the first thing i think of when i wake up and you poison all my thoughts. it drives me insane. but i like it that way. whats worse is you dont love me back but you say you might like me. its the worst thing youve ever said. now i cant get over you but i cant be with you. you kill me in the best way and the worst way. youre so innocent and perfect and youre broken inside but i adore ever shattered part of your being. i dont think you understand what you do to me, you dont even notice. every little thing youve ever said or done is burnt into my memory. i cant focus accept when im with you everything fits into place. its as if for a second the universe let me glimpse heaven. then you talk about her and the moment slips through my fingers. You're perfect. She's perfect. and im just dying
The sweetness dissipates. There are druids in the train station, witches in the bus depot. There is enchantment luring away the gatekeepers of the sacred seminaries of our most sacred religion. There are wind tunnels with words that trap the clever minded and the movie-maker wannabes. (Nobody is guarding the streets. Nobody is watching the wisdom children.) With a sweep of a hand, the conductor shifts the tone. With the nod of his head, the admiral orders the troops. With the squint of her eye, the romance addict puffs up the narcissistic scholar, just to deflate him with her cold steel lance. The sweetness dissipates. The plates are on fire and there is no food in your pantry. And now the sweetness is gone, the tone has shifted, the troops go marching by.
I had a dream about you, one that made me feel so loved it was magic. I woke up that morning and you were there, your arm slung over my waist and I could hear you breathing. And for a short moment in my still sleepy haze I couldn't remember where our night had ended and where my dream began. I couldn't tell the difference between my fantasy and our reality. And in that moment I felt so loved and it was magic, just like my dream. So I drifted back to sleep, you breathing quietly next to me. And that's when I realized that you're dangerous. You're everywhere in my dreams and reality. So please, please, baby don't shatter me.