If it were my choice, I would end it all right now. As the pain wears away at my decaying body, it does so to my soul as well. The life is fading away from my frail body like a trickle of water going down a drain. Each day as my last, I ponder my existence and resistance on this planet. Knowing that it's not the end until my body gives in. No more will I live in fear of people. Thoughts. Expectancies. For I am an old man, an old man with enough life to battle on, not because I have to, but because I need to. To prove to you that my conquest isn't over. Not yet. Although my power is fading, I will carry on until my last breath is breathed. Until my heart no longer beats. Until my brain no longer functions. But for now we all must realise the potential each and everyone of us behold. Although you may see me as old and that my time is up. Is yours? It is never too late to start a new journey or path into something. For I did the same thing. For I willingly took up the befuddled idea of chess at my age, to master it before I die. Make most of what you have. Time is of the essence, so make sure you essentially use up what you have left to make something of you. If not, don't worry, it's your life.
When I was a kid I stuttered badly and then one day I didn't. I couldn't figure our why except the little kid with me when I stopped stuttering was happy when I was pretend reading to him so much that when I made him happy with what I was reading to him it made me so happy that I stopped stuttering and I never stuttered again. When I stopped the moment I mean that I realized I could talk like everyone else I tried it out again and said everything I could think of to see if I was dreaming and I wasn't and I ran to find my dad and said dad listen to me talk and he said okay and then I talked and the words came out one after the other smooth as silk and I was so so happy and he was happy and then I went to find my mom and tell her and she said how wonderful and then I went to school and the teacher said thats good and now I want you to give a speech and I did. Abraham Lincoln.
It hadn't been 3 minutes since she slammed the door going out leaving me without even saying goodbye when the wineglass I thought was near the sink when I went to set it down was not and when it let go it crashed to the floor. It wasn't just any old wineglass either it was a special glass made by a glass artist who had signed and numbered it and sold versions like it for hundreds of dollars. He'd given it to me for my birthday two of them in fact and the other had already broken and now both of them had broken and my marriage was too. I went to bed and cried.
I need to save my life here by writing something. I need to convince the person standing over me with a gun that she should spare my life. What can I say that can do that...think, think, think...I could say PLEASE DON'T KILL ME." Maybe that would work. Somehow I don't think so, especially if she's a robot with no feelings. I'm not sure. I've not seen her before. She appeared at my door holding a clipboard saying she wanted to ask me a few questions and would I mind if she came in the house to do that. She was so small and unintimidating that I thought nothing of letting come inside. Once she was inside though she pulled a gun from inside her coat and said that if I didn't tell her something she hadn't heard before she was going to kill me.
I used to look at you,
with so much passion and so much love,
I used to tell myself,
how would life be without you?
I used to look at the stars,
so shiny and burning bright in the late night sky and smiled while you are in my thoughts,
I remembered how you used to pamper me till late at night,
and told me how much you loved me,
and i remember how i used to tell you that,
Our love is infinite and that I loved you to the stars and back.