The feeling of being stuck in a situation you don't like but you feel unable to move forward. The past keeps you crippled. It is not right staying in one place. Throwing a pity party every once in a while might be healthy, you are only human. You have a right to feel sorry for yourself. But being a constant whiner is a suicide. You suck every joy of your life. You remain glued to a desolate situation while you can simply decide to man up! Leave the bad situation behind you, learn from it, embrace life. Look for the silver lining! Life is waiting for you to embrace it. Live it fully, don't let it pass you by. There is so much you can do with your life, so much dreams to fulfill, so much projects to make.
I used to look at you,
with so much passion and so much love,
I used to tell myself,
how would life be without you?
I used to look at the stars,
so shiny and burning bright in the late night sky and smiled while you are in my thoughts,
I remembered how you used to pamper me till late at night,
and told me how much you loved me,
and i remember how i used to tell you that,
Our love is infinite and that I loved you to the stars and back.
Satan has a heated blanket for you, and a turkey sandwich with potatoes and gravy. He is lowering his blanket over your fatigued head and it is melting down around your shoulders. Stop typing. Stop working. Throw yourself onto his cushy couch. Sip the...
Throw that blanket in the fire! Toss that plate of death to the dogs! You are tired and cold, and what's it to you? Step into the discomfort. Embrace the hate. Shake the fatigue. Your tasks are righteous and authentic. Your journey is important. People may be waiting for you. People may not remember you at all. But when you are finished with your task thing they will all remember your grandiose Lord. They will brush clean a space on the street and kneel their legs, lowering their torsos to the appropriate height for a long needed prayer. People are thirsty for devotion and they don't even know it. The work you are doing will remind them of their thirst. But it is cold and hungry work. So what's it to you?
Splashes start to appear in my cereal bowl. Its 7 AM, I have a tumbler half filled with vintage scotch whiskey, on the rocks, in one hand. A knife in the other. The tears start to cloud my vision now. I push the whiskey to my lips and savour the harsh taste. I hold the knife to my face and shave away the weakness my eyes are showing to the world. A rouge, bold colour seeps and swirls around my breakfast milk like an infection. What is the point of living? What is there to live for? In a rage of anger and disappointment the glass crushes in my palm and carves new scars to remind me of the painful memories. Still clutching the knife I stagger towards the mirror, watch it as I lift it to my throat. This is it. I gouge the knife into the reflection I have studied for so long. Change is imminent. Change is my only option for survival.
To know your strength requires introspection and honest analysis. You must lower your periscope to the deepest depths and congregate your accountants and cluster your preachers. You must rub ointment on your cult leaders. The point is, there is so much noise and so many insane people with ridiculous beliefs that our self analysis gets skewed. Puked. To know your strength is to know your limits. But you have to really know it. You can't guess. You can't have inflated assumptions of what your strengths are. To know your strengths is to know your limits and to know your limits is to know what your potential is. To know what you are capable of. To know what this machine can really do. We are cyborgs in a strange and unhappy place. We are walking clusters of software and hardware and complicated programming. We fight as we are designed to fight. We laugh, though that is not part of the plan. Laughter is a bug in our software, but we have uncovered it and now use it to our advantage. It is now a strength we can leverage to counteract the unhappiness of this slowly rotating battle arena.