She was young and she didn't know what she wanted. She dreamed of writing and reading and feeling accomplished and confident. Instead of this emptiness. This sickness. BDSM and sexual-induced cravings that made her feel alien in a world where being human was beautiful. She wanted to feel successful. She wanted her father to look at her like she actually was capable of prospects, whether those prospects consist of future mates, career opportunities...even diet choices and (health) lifestyle. The root of the problem was she was stuck in this never-ending cycle of wake up, feel ashamed, not knowing what to tell people when they asked about her goals and aspirations. The inbred response was "English". I want to write. I want to create. I want that to be my thing. But what if that wasn't even her calling? What if, in fact, she was absolute SHIT at writing? What if she hadn't read more than 2 books in the past two years, not including the FSOG series? It felt fake. It felt like she was striving towards everything and nothing all at once, with zero payback rate. What does a person do with that? Cower in their fear and shyness and just deal.?
The people shuffle in with apprehensive steps and restrained expressions. How does one even present one's face in such situations? But the great man was there, weak and faint, smiling as much as he could in his condition. He made eye contact with as many of them as he could. The most prominent woman of the bunch spoke fearlessly. "You've been a good husband, and I will cherish our memories." The old man nodded. Then a boy, now a man, rested a hand on the bed rail. "You once told me I can do what anyone else can do. If someone else can do it, so can I. Thank you." The old man's smile was firm and formal. Then the girl, now a woman, approached. She looked like she was about to speak, but she didn't. Couldn't. The old man lifted his head ever so faintly and she leaned to him. He whispered to her, "life waits for no man, and bows for no woman. But it slows slightly for beauty, especially the beauty of a generous deed."
In the first week, I adjusted my ways of everyday life to make it somehow include you. I would walk a longer way in the hall just to see a smile on your face that was clearly meant for someone other than me. I sat in my car during the mornings before class, just hoping to catch a quick glance at you. I texted you over the smallest things, waiting for a reply that usually never came. But in every week following the first, the adjustments became a little bit harder than the weeks before. I started hurrying to class and hoping my phone would die so I could have a reason to stop existing in the world around me. The little things that once made you so special became burdens, or maybe I just saw them for what they really were. You were like the bruised apple of the bunched, and I had somewhat hoped you would taste better than the rest.
Grave flashes of light admonish the quilted sky into a battered terrain of quixotic colours that bleed into your conciseness . Splintering images that haunt as you stare into the abyss between the flashes. Each a canyon unto which you see reflected your own predicament. your mood senses each deranged explosion as a confirmation of your impending doom. Nothing will save us now. No god. No religion. No truth. Nature exists to instil in us a damning fear of the unknown. But it's not the unknown we've come to fear. its each other. and the things we've left unsaid seen in the grandiose expression of feeling draped in the imagery of the stars
I will attend High School next year! Year 7 2015! I'm already reading study and motivation tips online so hopefully I'll get good grades. I really want straight As and Bs, I love school. I don't know why but I feel as though I'll enjoy the adventure of High School. Essays, Studying, Homework...annoying but if you do it, you'll do really well in the future. I'm so excited to start learning new, different, interesting subjects next year. I just want to graduate Primary School so I get my summer holidays (6-weeks) and enjoy the journey. I wish that I have fun discovering lots of new information in the future!