What Comes out of My Head may surprise me.
Like crying during church. During an Advent service no less. I should be celebrating the Joy and all. For Unto You a Child has been given.
I'm so thankful. But Yet left so empty. Why don't I feel the Joy.
I believe in Kingdom come, and blood on the walls. But yet, still haven't found what I'm looking for. The U2 song comes to mind.
How many other people in this very church feel the same way? Surely not everybody is contented and happy and just overjoyed as they should be.
Surely I'm not the only lost one that has been found but yet still feels lost. Or somehow empty.
I don't want to make a scene. Or a big deal. Or Raise a raucous. Or make waves or ripples. I just want to find what i'm looking for.
Fulfillment. Peace, Contentment.
Christmas Joy. The true meaning of Christmas.
Not buying crap. But meaningless giving doesn't somehow do it for me either.
If only i knew exactly what it was. If only i could share how i'm feeling, i feel like that would be better.
And for Pete's sake, bring a tissue or a Kleenex or something with you, if you're going to be blubbering all over the benches, so you don't have to wipe your snot and tears and runny nose on your Sunday pants. Jeez, man.