I'm afraid that the future will never be as good as the past and I'm afraid that one morning I'll wake up and decide that it's not worth it.. None of it is worth it. I don't mean living I like being alive, I mean what am I really living for. Do I want to be just another body in the masses, who goes through the motions of life, not for living but for being. Is there a point to being crippled by debt, is love really enough to justify paying however much tax you're charged. Is it worth being ridiculed for trying to help.
Am I ready to live in a world where everyone is judgemental of everything. Why is it wrong to want to cry when I miss someone.I miss them so much.
I can only cry at night when no one hears, I never talk about it and if I do it's in snide remarks
I am not okay with it, and I am not okay with pretending to be okay
No one helps, you're not helping, I need support and reassurance.
But I'm afraid that when I get it, I won't believe it.
I am afraid.