Classified Ad: Ventriloquists Dummy for sale. Barely used. Reason for selling: has a mind of it's own... When Lucy read the ad she picked up the phone immediately and called. Hello. How much is the dummy? Never mind. Whatever it costs I'll buy it. I just got a divorce and I'm lonely and I think this dummy will be just what I need now... I don't know lady. This dummy thinks for itself. Yeah well I don't care. Best part about having it around is I won't have to cook for it, or do it's laundry or listen to it fart and burp after he eats. And I can put words in it's mouth whenever I want.