When I called him up, simply to check in and see how he was doing, he started to question my love life, like most friends or ex-lovers do. I told him that since he left, no man had been able to take his place. We laughed as he joked, asking what I had been doing wrong. But through the laughter, I began to feel my chest tighten. It made me wonder, what was it about me, the thing that ran people away? Why was I still so lonely? It took a few weeks to get this question out of my head, and really, it hadn't completely gone away. On the night that I had been brave enough to go on my first real date since everything had happened, I realized that maybe it hadn't been me all along. Instead, I had just been looking in the wrong places, searching through the wrong hearts. Somehow though, I found a heart that made me happy, even before the first date. I had discovered someone who was rough around the edges, but also wanted someone to help them smooth it out, or at least accept their imperfections. In this moment, I thought back to the lurking question...why had I been alone for so long? Maybe I just hadn't found the heart that wanted to love me. And maybe I still haven't. But I guess we will both never know unless I give out a few chances and try to prove him wrong.