I finally admitted: I'm in love with this city.
all this noise, crowds, the threat of violence, sun blocker buildings, smells of pee, or people who make me want to puke with their arrogancy, were just some shades, showing why I am in love with this city.
It all occurred to me when I traveled to my hometown.
As humans, cities are also organic structures. Or that was what I thought. But after 3 years, for the first time, I was back in my hometown, and as soon as I stepped out of my rental car, I realized this fucking town has stayed same. Nothing changed. Like they showed in the documentary, how McDonald's burgers stayed same for days, but organic one decomposed in a short period of time. This thought reminded me why I left, and at the same time, I realized where I belonged to. And as soon as I had this relief- you know having a place that you can call home is a luxury - my flow of thought brought me to the same question: why I am alone.
I admire change. I LOVE change. But some people, or some cities, or some burgers resist to it. Through my life, I heard "Annie, you changed," more than I heard "I love you." Of course, I did! Why did you not change? Why have you remained same? I might be smelly sometimes, but at least when you take a bite from me, you will know that I am real.
Anyway, I've gotta see my mom.