Now that I can see the world around me lose its shape I really do regret taking that powder into me. It was a wonderful journey that we all were to sett off for but I did not expect the stability of my world to disappear so unexpectedly. I just woke up without her the next day, and ever since it only takes me to space out and lose the focus of my eyesight to see the world flow and the object in front of me merge in the background. It is in a way petrifying but there is also certain magic to it. Magic of human mind. Something great and inexplicable. Now, I indulge in coffee. It keeps me awake and I do not end up spacing out and seeing the world flow around me in uncontrolled trance. I just do not want be scared. I wish I had not taken that white powder into me.