My mind races as I try to grip onto the sanity which I have left. My body begins to shake with a panic that puts my breathing on hold. Gripping me tightly are my own hands, screaming at myself to stop. But it's unsuccessful, as I'm too far gone, the scars are too deep, the pain is too much. This crushing, blinding, killing panic is ripping through the tightness within me. It is yelling through my seizing lungs and freezing my ability to move. My ability to live. Suddenly my hands shake and I fall deeper into my insanity. I am terrified, I think I am going to die. I can't breathe, I can't think, I can't speak, I can't move. My paused breathing will be the death of me. My head is screaming at me, for anything, something to stop me from losing it. But I lost it all a long time ago, so I scream and shout and yell but nothing can end the torture. Nothing can end the turmoil that is killing every inch of me. So I collapse, destroyed by my own body, ready for my mind to take complete control over the hopeless me.