I've decided that I'm going to be sad. I'm going to embrace the feeling, welcome it with my arms wide open. I'm tired of the pretense, it's exhausting. It's hard to put up a smile for no reason. It's foolish to even try to convince yourself that the sadness doesn't exist. Because it does. It runs deep within you. And the only way you'll ever get rid of it is if you acknowledge it first. So I'm not going to crack jokes when all I really want to do is scream out loud until I can't make a sound. I'm not going to smile at strangers when all I really want to do is run away from them all and disappear into oblivion. I'm not going to pretend to be happy because I've decided that I'm going to be sad.