I'm the only person I know that has cried over getting asked to prom. I am just so insecure, that I can't even accept that someone might want to go to prom with me. It's insane actually, and I can recognize that. But I still feel stupid. Honestly, why do I have to be this way. Why do I hate myself so much that I can't even bear the idea of anyone else liking me. So much for being the typical American teenager. I mean I've never wanted to be typical, but this confirms it totally.
Why am I like this? I don't know.
Why is this so hard for me? I don't know.
Why do I hate myself? Because I hate the qualities that I can see in myself. I hate that other people can see things that I don't believe exist. I hate that all of this bullshit is what's controlling me.
I've never been normal, but I guess that's just the worst part. I'd never recognize normal even if it was right under my nose.
It's so selfish hating yourself. Because even if you're hating yourself, you're still only thinking of yourself.