I don't understand it; I don't in the least understand why he did not like Dave Brubeck.
I learned to lower my expectations from the hard way. You know, as a 32 years old woman, time does not flow through my side. It's been ages since I stopped waiting for the prince charming. But how could I live with a man who listens not music but meaningless, instruction sound? Yes, I'm talking about you, Techno music!
Finding an appropriate man is harder than finding an appropriate dress in these days.
And then, you know, my mom gets into the stage.
She has been telling me- well actually, begging me- for my whole life: "Annie, why can't you be a bit easygoing, my beloved daughter?"
I might have heard this sentence, more than "I love you."
Well, this is not true.
I'm sorry. My therapist and I have been working on this 'lying thing.'
I can see I bored you. So my answer is I don't know over intellectualism can kill you or not, but I do know that loneliness really can break one's heart.
Was I helpful?
I finally admitted: I'm in love with this city.
all this noise, crowds, the threat of violence, sun blocker buildings, smells of pee, or people who make me want to puke with their arrogancy, were just some shades, showing why I am in love with this city.
It all occurred to me when I traveled to my hometown.
As humans, cities are also organic structures. Or that was what I thought. But after 3 years, for the first time, I was back in my hometown, and as soon as I stepped out of my rental car, I realized this fucking town has stayed same. Nothing changed. Like they showed in the documentary, how McDonald's burgers stayed same for days, but organic one decomposed in a short period of time. This thought reminded me why I left, and at the same time, I realized where I belonged to. And as soon as I had this relief- you know having a place that you can call home is a luxury - my flow of thought brought me to the same question: why I am alone.
I admire change. I LOVE change. But some people, or some cities, or some burgers resist to it. Through my life, I heard "Annie, you changed," more than I heard "I love you." Of course, I did! Why did you not change? Why have you remained same? I might be smelly sometimes, but at least when you take a bite from me, you will know that I am real.
Anyway, I've gotta see my mom.