Wow, could she really put her face on a real billboard? Riantoinette, a woman of 32, signed the papers to be Sony Entertainment's newest Housewife sponsoree. She would need to wear headphones 24/7 and say her assigned catchphrase of, "Sony Time!" whenever she plopped into the armchair for interviews. She was going to the Oscars, which she was excited/nervous about. Her job was to throw an after-Oscars, after-Ellen soirée for under $400 which is damn-near impossible in this town. She began to call herself an "agent" in her own head. Shopping for mini pebbles to put in a pile as a cheap but incandescent center piece, she tripped at Marshal's over a discarded pair of track pants and bellowed out, "AGENT DOWN!" on accident. Penelopé saw everything.
Why can't I find a boyfriend? More so, why does EVERYTHING i put in a tupperware container go bad in 10 to 12 days? I have three cavities I'd like you to take care of for free because I already spent my unemployment check on a plane ticket to nyc. Oh Dr. Beckett, you're so funny when you send the front office nurse in to "talk logistics" with me. We all know "talk logistics" means to ask, "why did you come into the office, THEN sign in, THEN allow the doctor to start the filling process when you knew you only have $23 in your checking account?" Teehee, nyc will be hot this summer! I need a reusable water bottle or sumfin huh? Again though, where can I find a boyfie if all I have is butt stank and a bus pass? BUTT STANK
How many times can you wear Big Dog to a social event and NOT touch an underage girl's hienie???? NOT MANY. Big Dog demands that shit, sitting there on your right breast, all embroidered like he's overlooking his whole domain. I first thought my boyfriend was a witch when he told me he had "a little shopping to do" and *poof* - i repeaaaat, *poof*ed away. Like he couldn't just walk into a Ralph's like the everyday man he was. Yeah, maybe his long robe would get caught in the automatic sliding entrance doors, AND YEAH, maybe that gust of air that greets you when you first walk in would make him all billowy looking (read: BLOATED) so maybe I can level with him there. I guess the elephant in the room is that he was a woman with an elephant vagina that blab blab blabbidy blabbed until either he or I was fast asleep.