i remember sitting in the car on my way home when i was a kid and watching the night cloak the town. The moon appeared vivid and whole, and i couldn't help but wonder why he appeared brightest at the worlds darkest hour. Toying with the thought, i noticed the moon was following me home and i wondered that perhaps he only came up at night to keep the stars from feeling lonely because on that night when my soul was lost and alone in the darkness, the moon kept me company and guided me back home.
walking down the same road ive walked so many times before, i stand on the same corner of the same riverbank and i light a cigarette with the same old lighter, i can feel the warmth inside me but im still shivering from the sharp winds which whip at my cheeks, over the river there is a man with a similar appearance to my own but far older and covered in tattoos, he throws his old lighter in the water and i watch him pull out a gun from inside his jacket my eyes are fixated on the man and i cannot move for shock has paralysed me, his expression does not change as he lifts the gun to his temple, he looks at peace when he finally pulls the trigger and silence descends
i can feel your lungs rise and fall, i can feel your heart pump the blood to your veins, i can hear you sigh and squeal, i can feel you twitch in your sleep as you dream of curiosities i will never truly know. i can feel your leg stretch out knocking into mine as your your eyelids unveil my eyes, our eyes. i smile down at you, love pouring from my every particle, you yawn and squirm wriggling into my arms, i kiss your smooth forehead and listen to you giggle, i hold you tightly and my heart breaks a little knowing i will have to let you go at some point. but in this moment nothing else exists, just you me and your dad on our broken mattress in our corner of the world
see that man in suit with tears in his eyes, yh he just lost his wife and told a thousand lies, he told them its fine i can still be happy, ill raise our kids and we'll be okay, everyday he prays for the storm to disguise his agony with just another drop of rain, he looks down at his phone and sees a miscall from his beloved wife she said my dear if you could ever forgive me, i hope to see you someday in another heaven
she sits in her tower looking out her glass window watching the world pass by, she watches the flowers grow blossom then die and rot, she watches kids hold hands and walk down the road with hope in there hearts and a smile in there eyes, she watches the men in suits with a brief case in one hand drive to work with the life drained from there soul and an emptiness in there distant gaze, she watches the tears from the sky cascade down endless buildings finally landing on the cold tarmac she sits in her tower and wonders to herself what it would be like to live like that
he took my heart without even realising but forget to give me his so now theres just an empty pit in my chest, i only miss him when im breathing so maybe i'll be better off dead, at least then i'll have nothing to lose, nothing to get hurt over. no one can fix me anymore the broken pieces of my soul are lost under the stars and no one would try to put them back together for they would cut open there hands and im just not worth it am i
looking out the window, i watched the storm take over the sky, drops of water slid down the glass pane, i tried to open the window but it was locked, all i could do was watch the darkness engulf the light as tears rained down from the sky, i began to bang on the window desperately trying to ease her pain but it was too late the ground shook as thunder rumbled from the clouds and sparks of lightening illuminated the flooded ground. her broken soul had given up as the clouds parted and the sky was white, blank, dead
ill watch as you walk the tightrope, ill stand under you just in case you fall, ill hold my breath as your foot slips but you always keep your balance, i will stare at you in awe but deep down i know i am not needed for there is a net beneath you which he wove, i know deep down you are safest in his heart but i cannot help but want you in my own, so ill watch you from below knowing you are to high up for me to reach, ill watch as you walk the tightrope that is your life
i looked into his pale blue eyes and he turned away, he told me not to look too deep or i would drown, i told him i would dive into the darkest parts of his mind, his soul and his heart because ive been swimming in my own thoughts my whole life, im a strong swimmer. he turned back around to face me with tears in his eyes and he looked down at our feet hanging down from the branch. i pushed his face up and i made a promise, a promise which changed our lives. i promised i would swim with him, i would drown with him, i promised i would stay with him always and forever...
look through my eyes, can you see that star, can you see how it illuminates the world, can you see how it burns the darkness, can you see how it makes me lighter, can you see that although there may be a brighter star, through my eyes the light of you is all i see. look through my eyes can you see the shadows lurking, can you see the darkness encroaching, can you see the demons enveloping the light, can you see my heart, laid upon the stone ground, torn from my chest, barely beating as if it is struggling to find a reason to keep on beating. look through my eyes can you see the emptiness now that my bright star has gone
i find it weird how people are afraid of the dark, they say its because they dont know whats out there but at this pont i dont want to know whats out there anymore because whether you can see it or not its still there but the beauty of the dark is that we dont need to be afraid because we dont have a clue as to what may lurk in the darkness. we can be like kids again oblivious to the terrors of the world. i would rather live in the dark
Someone once said to me "we all create our own hell" this baffled me at the time for i was only young however as time as passed, it has become clearer that she meant the decisions we make form our lives and the decisions which are bad form a hell like situation. to this day, i think she was wrong, we don't all create our own hell, we create our own life with the help of others but it does not have to be a bad life. if you make a bad decision learn how to fix it, don't live with the pain on your shoulders, because i think we can all create our own heaven.
when we are kids, we wait with anticipation to grow into a teenager. when we are teenagers we wait to go out into the world and work as adults. when we are working as adults, we look back and wish we were kids again. then when we get older we wait to stop working and become a pensioner and one day when we are in the hospital looking back at our past, we will say "i have been waiting for everything, waiting in anticipation, but along the way, i forgot to live..."