What are you afraid of - he whispered?
... of the light that cracks my shell. And when you crack it, the water gets in. Salty water, and i'm drowning. It as the taste of tears, taste of fears.
I hate getting up in the morning with regrets and feel tension in my stomach like it's a punching bag.
- You've got to cut the chains little one. - he said. His voice was my angel from heaven.
Heaven and hell exist only in your head. You've got to make a choice which one will define your life. Fear? Are you sure that you have time for that? Time cannot be trusted, it's a burglar with sticky fingers that steals hopes and dreams.
Growing up, I was always slightly embarrassed of where I came from. Looking back now, I am embarrassed that I ever was. Sure, I didn't always get the newest toys and clothes as soon as they hit the shelves, but I never went without. Sitting in the living room a few nights ago, coming up on 20 years of age, I realized that I had not really missed out on anything. As I sat there in heart of my home, I felt nostalgic about the live I grew up living and how in a less than a year away, I would no longer be in this house. It was all bittersweet. My parents may have not been able to give me the world through material things, but they sure did try when it came to their love and attention. All we ever truly needed was each other, and maybe a dog.
I've decided that I'm going to be sad. I'm going to embrace the feeling, welcome it with my arms wide open. I'm tired of the pretense, it's exhausting. It's hard to put up a smile for no reason. It's foolish to even try to convince yourself that the sadness doesn't exist. Because it does. It runs deep within you. And the only way you'll ever get rid of it is if you acknowledge it first. So I'm not going to crack jokes when all I really want to do is scream out loud until I can't make a sound. I'm not going to smile at strangers when all I really want to do is run away from them all and disappear into oblivion. I'm not going to pretend to be happy because I've decided that I'm going to be sad.
poster child, pose for your picture, comb your hair this way, stretch your arm that way, eat your daily nothing and cry invisible tears because poster children cant be sad, poster children are the face of the future and the future must be bright but the poster child cannot live i the present, they cant breathe anyway
Sunlight dances on her face and the shade fights for her attention, the concrete lifts into a smile when she delights it with every delicate step, she breaths out the sensation of eating ice-cream in the summer and she breaths in the wounds and the scars of everyone around her. Smile bright but her eyes are faded to grey, skin flawless but her cheeks have hollowed inwards, her footsteps grow heavy as the ground shakes beneath her, the shadows creep up her neck as the pavement drags her to the ground. Enduring the agony of breathing in took away the sunlights daughter to the shadows