we start by driving down the dirt road for over 3 hours before we got close to where we wanted to camp. we set up our tents and un-loaded the kayaks. walking down to the creek i was filled with not only enjoyment but fear. not of drowning or being hurt. but the fear of not being able to take the lead. the moment just as entry into a big wave, the quiet brings clarity of just how scared you truly can be. but the moment quickly gives way to the joy and excitement that comes with everyday we live in these mountains. i would never trade this fear for a second of stability of the city.
Nameless wanderer punctured by the superstitious commoners. Boyhood interruptions. Adolescent misconjiggered. Nazi propaganda causing crass actions in the bored farmlands of a dying nation. Nameless path-maker looking for a better hiding place. Naive journey maker, tapping on his superstition collection. Mapping out his punctured wander journey. Crass masters slap him into place. Exploding fragments of abandoned capsules. Escaping. Capturing. Toxic sisters rub the bounty. Military soldiers protect the toxic villagers from the Nazi bandits. Boyhood interruptions get corrected. Adolescent wanderer returns to home.
Challenged by life, by a means of escape, to die for nothing and to live for so much. Are we then, just figures of our own imaginations, gods of our own universe, and do we then see into our own future, gone down the rabbit hole, ventured too far, came back with nothing to show for it, hail the king of nothingness, hail the queen of everything, she, the one true ruler of this land owes nothing to her lowly peasant children, we serve her well and she gives us nothing in return, when will it end? taken, we were, taken from our mothers at birth and sold to the fellow merchants who bare the sick name of the crazy king of old, cream and guns change hands in those lavish living spaces, gone down by the lake and changed by us, taken back to the birthright of our ancestors and chosen by Mary mother of Jesus to kill all the unrighteous.
A dream is a way to live your life without boundaries. Anything can happen. You can be, do, or say anything you like and then you wake up. Also, a dream can be something you wish for in the future. Again, there are no boundaries. I wish to be a writer, a published writer, and to travel the country and the world to my heart's content. I want to see everything, or as much of it as possible. I want to live with no regrets. I want to see Stonehenge in England, castles in Germany, the Great Wall in China. I would love to sit and meditate with a Buddhist in India. I want to enjoy my life and live it, not just exist to pay bills and die. My whole life and world are ahead of me and what will I make of it? Will I have to leave behind the one I love to do these things, or will he allow me to become all I can be? I am in desperate need of a change for the better. I love my boyfriend so much and will do anything for him, but I also want to explore the world. I feel like there is great inspiration in the pyramids of Egypt and South America and I would love to stand in the shadow of such wonders. I would love to visit as many beaches on Earth as possible. I am a dreamer, and nothing on Earth can hold me back.
Lost, where is she, she went to go with me but she got lost along the way, maybe I can save her, maybe she is still out there somewhere, I can't figure out what I am supposed to do, should i try to find her? Now, there is a knock at the door, a parcel, it's from her, its a message, "If you look into your heart, you'll know where to find me". Look into my heart? I try buy I find only mangled darkness, mangled, strange and crippled visions of madness, convoluted visions of daring change and imperfect changes of past lives when once i was a shaman, dancing around an open fire, calling for the rain, maybe I can call her from the clouds like I once did that rain, maybe if I transgress my past lives I will find the courage to rain dance once again and save my one true love.