I've no idea what it is, but something feels like it's starting to go right. I think it's some inner setting that I've managed to toggle. Perhaps even in my sleep. I remembered my dreams for the first time last night since I can remember. They involved very small aquatic monsters, or life-forms, I should say. I'm pretty sure one was hunting another, and I recall that it could mutate its form into a tubeworm wide enough to be a winter scarf. I assume it was poisonous. I don't even think that the dream itself was particularly symbol-packed -- or at least revealing-- or even the instigator for the change. I just think the fact that I remember much more of it than I have for the last several years signifies that something is starting to cognitively click into place. Something good. It's like a visit from Great Aunt Intuition, who's been estranged or something like it for quite a while. I gave her some strong, vaporous egg nog, hoping to ply her into giving me some answers. Because all I've got are questions. But life's too short to only ask...or only answer. Let's converse.
Don't know what to say, may be confused about life, don't know which way is being headed. what you plan may be it's not your wort or may be you do not deserve it. like people say sometimes it's not what you plan, it's what you deserve, but sometimes i think it's not both,it's just a matter of time, when you least expect it tings come along and when you staring at the door, no one rings the bell,you just sit quietly figuring out what is happening. totally numb.
Why lot of miseries in my country? Why can't we expect to have peace, to achieve our dreams? I am dreaming about peace, unity, progress, end of prejudice. We need to dream, to keep faith, to hope for a better future. Why do leaders cause the sufferings of their own people, why do they spoil the trust people have placed in them. We need a change, we need a better leadership, a better future.
Not today. This day belongs to me. Today I will push the clouds away. Yes, I can see them outside thick and heavy and warm and grey in the summer sky. But not in my summer sky. I don't care how loud I have to play the music, how much weight I have to press in the gym, or how many coffees or glasses of wine I need. I will not succumb to the fear and misery today. I am the light. I am fighting for my little piece of this earth where I, too, can enjoy a pleasant existence. Not war all the time. There is no point in war if there is no peace. And I will have my peace today. I will fight my battles. But in dignity. I will not bow down and have pain command my existence. I will make this battle into a glorious, dramatic, memorable yes pleasurable experience. This is my freedom, this is my choice. If I must suffer I will at least enjoy my suffering. If I must get stronger, I will at least embrace the strengthening. If I must wait, then I will make patience into a triumphant dance through the night. I can feel the gods between the stars looking down in delight. The spirit surrounds me and it lights up the darkness like fire.
Fireworks popped in the night, bursting in a rainbow of colours. Lying on the cool grass, Ida smiled a sweet smile. Her face was illuminated by the light of the fireworks, and her ears buzzed with the sound. She felt totally and utterly connected to everything. She felt the ground beating beneath her like a drum, could hear the joy ringing around, the trees dancing in the wind. Everything was celebrating. The euphorism was everywhere, it almost made her stop crying, but the tears still streamed down her cheeks as she smiled. It was bittersweet. It was the anniversary of a death and the celebration of a life.