It was about time.
The world saw our reality.
Kept hidden from the multitudes.
This is our tragedy.
To begin with.
Who are we?
Just the sons and daughters.
Fouled by brevity.
Kin to mishaps and mayhem.
Ally to a broken reality.
Surrender your aspirations.
So were we told.
Bliss be your reward.
So were we asked.
No true blight exists.
Upon this faded humanity.
As blind men leading the blind.
Only to find themselves the new atrocity.
Marge is in her hammock sipping tea, slowly drifting into sleep. Fe'tid the spider is slowly descending to the street. G-pa the Raccoon is shuffling through the alley, sniffing for some meat. He’s been shot with pellets, clipped by a Chevy Malibu, and struck by lightning, so don’t even begin to bitch and complain about the toils of your daily burden. Marge is sound asleep now, unaware of the buzzing bees around the garden post. She is lightly snoring, dreaming about being on a rowboat in the middle of the ocean. She has no paddles and is worried about how she is going to get her mortgage paid if nobody finds her. In her dream she has no imperfections. Her skin is silky smooth, like corporate fabric. She awakens to the sound of children laughing.
Walking through the park with criminals in our midst. Strolling along the path with our memories still intact. I am a post-liberal scholar, trying on different thoughts. There are liars in my midst. I have all this knowledge but with nothing to dump it on. My power-tools are well designed but I have nothing to contort. My heart is broke. There are lovers in my midst. I rest my legs on a bench. My shoulders are tired from building walls. I’m looking for a power-outlet but all I find are covered receptacles. There are no electricians in my midst. There are people passing to and fro. I wave at a friendly dog. My legs feel better so I resume my walk. I merge into the pathway traffic and disappear among the crowds. I am somewhere in my midst.
I stutter. Not bad, but just enough for people to notice and not say anything, simply to avoid embarrassing me. I have always known this about myself, but as I started getting older, I realized that a teenage girl with a stutter isn't the absolute most attractive thing in the world. With time, I began staying quiet in busy conversations and crowded rooms. I learned to not speak unless I was with someone who would not mind the slight stutter in my voice when I spoke. It wasn't until I was sitting with him in a small out-of-the-way diner that I realized he was aware of this imperfection of mine. He mentioned it casually, and went on about the conversation like we were discussing the weather. My face changed to that shade of red that I always get when nervous, and he calmly took my hand. He was the first person to bring this up and the first person who knew exactly what to say. He didn't laugh at me like most people usually do. Instead, he said that it was something that he liked about me and something that he had told his mom about me early on. He welcomed this imperfection and saw it as worth keeping. This is why I am thinking that he might just be the person with a few slight imperfections worth keeping in my life.
I don't understand it; I don't in the least understand why he did not like Dave Brubeck.
I learned to lower my expectations from the hard way. You know, as a 32 years old woman, time does not flow through my side. It's been ages since I stopped waiting for the prince charming. But how could I live with a man who listens not music but meaningless, instruction sound? Yes, I'm talking about you, Techno music!
Finding an appropriate man is harder than finding an appropriate dress in these days.
And then, you know, my mom gets into the stage.
She has been telling me- well actually, begging me- for my whole life: "Annie, why can't you be a bit easygoing, my beloved daughter?"
I might have heard this sentence, more than "I love you."
Well, this is not true.
I'm sorry. My therapist and I have been working on this 'lying thing.'
I can see I bored you. So my answer is I don't know over intellectualism can kill you or not, but I do know that loneliness really can break one's heart.
Was I helpful?