While i know people that are both pessimists and optimists (i like both, for reference), i am so fucking tired of both sides trying to idealize everything. There are people in the black, people in the white, and somewhere along the line people in the gray matter. You have people who are pessimistic and only see the negative. Then you have optimists who only see the positive. Its not that simple. People see the surface, but refuse to do any digging, god forbid you get any dirt under your nails. I just wonder if it was lost somewhere along the way, or if we ever had it to begin with. The ability to think critically. This is the reason why i hate idealism with a passion. You cannot criticize or analyze any idea with out being crucified by either side. Neither side finds any attraction of the idea of give and take. Selfish at its core. These two can only only see the differences in each other. If only they could realize they have more in common than they do in difference.
Y si estuvieras aqui, como habrían sido estos días a tu lado? Habriamos visto películas y seguro te habrías burlado de mi por pasar el fin de semana en pijama y cocinando solo pasta, la cual te habría encantado y no habrías dejado sobras. Seguramente habríamos hecho el amor muchas veces y habríamos despertado en los brazos del otro. Pero eres aún un sueño que no se materializa, que no llega. No se de que color es tu cabello o tu piel, no se que tipo de ropa prefieres usar ni si te sientes cómodo en jeans o prefieres pantalones más de "vestir". De lo que estoy segura es que disfrutarías muchisimo mi compañía, te sentirías tan orgulloso y afortunado de tener una mujer como yo en tu vida, y no es vanidad o egocentrismo, es solo que recientemente he descubierto mi valor como ser humano y he encontrado que simplemente me fascino. Así que seguramente igual te fascinaria y pensarías ¿Dónde habías estado toda mi vida? Aunque no te engañes, ya lo he escuchado antes... solo espero que cuando tu lo digas sea tan real como lo necesito.
I have a stack of letters sitting in the blue basket near my desk. They are all for different "open when" occasions. I haven't read any yet, except the first one on the day I received them. Reading anymore now seems like a betrayal, to you and myself. The only letter I opened was on a perfect night, before things spun out of control. Over the past few days, I have warred against myself, deciding whether I should read one or not. In a way, it feels like it is no longer my right. I felt the emotions she had for me fade away. So now, reading the words she said before that, is like lighting myself on fire and acting like I never expected the pain. Part of me wants to set my world on fire, but the logical part of me says to set down the match.
I've got "Down-side Blindness" and it's Jupiter sized. It hangs in the air and darkens my playgrounds. I cast a vision and articulate a plan, but my downside blindness sabotages my returns. "I didn't see that coming," I say, in the debris of my project's disaster. "I didn't expect that," I say, in the ashes of my wasted task. I've got Down-side blindness and it makes all my upsides look brighter than they really are. My upsides shine like cosmic gods and raging suns, just above my head, and I am walking into it. "This wasn't as good as I thought it would be," I say, in the dull glow of my eventual accomplishment. "I thought this would be much better," I say, in the underwhelming euphoria of a success. I've got Down-side Blindness the size of Jupiter, and it fills me with unrest.
I'm dying... these hellspawn are going to kill me. NO! I can't have that, I'll give them a fate worse than the hellfire they came from!
*Cough Cough* Ugh, more blood, thought the beasts clawed most if it out of me...
The only thing keeping me going is pure vengeance. That pink thing. It must be one of hell's pitbulls cause it bit and would not let go, good thing it went for the shotgun as I pulled the trigger. Go this hurts so much...
It was then I can upon a strange blue face suspended in a sphere. It's eyes a liquid blue and silent scream on it's lips. I tentatively crawled closer and it shot straight into my chest. Instantly my wounds started to heal, I felt like I had gotten 2 days worth of sleep in an instant. I am awake, I am pissed off, and I just found a god-damned rocket-laucher!
I scooped up the weapon and grinned evilly. Now, we can level the playing field.